I earned my diploma with honors in an ABA-focused program and began working with children and youth diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD). However, one day while working with a child, I suffered a herniated disk that pinched a nerve root, causing excruciating pain. I believed that with treatment, I would recover fully. After all, I was helping a child with ASD—surely good would prevail. But when I was told that I would never fully recover and would face daily pain ranging from minor inconvenience to unbearable, I lost hope. It felt as though evil had triumphed over good, an idea that had never crossed my mind before. This was the catalyst for my descent into a very dark place. 

Despite my physical and emotional struggles, I continued to work, though not at the level I once did. In early 2020, about a month after contracting a virus, I found myself unable to think or function effectively. I felt completely useless and could no longer work. These symptoms would later be identified as Covid-19 Long Hauler Syndrome. Forced to take medical leave, my family faced a financial crisis, further compounding our challenges. After years of helping complex and challenging individuals, I now found myself in need of the very help I once provided. 

I began practicing meditation techniques, drawn to the scientific evidence supporting their effectiveness. As I delved deeper into research, I started exploring spirituality through various sources and connections. One person, in particular, had a profound impact on me, encouraging me to view my emotions as spiritual connections. This approach was transformative! I began to learn so much about myself from an entirely new perspective, and I was all in.

To my surprise, my years of working with the behavioral theory of Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA) had actually prepared me for this part of my journey. ABA, in its essence, involves modifying the environment to encourage positive behavior choices over harmful ones. Choice is a key component—true change can only happen when the individual chooses it. This principle applied to me as well. I realized I had been choosing harmful emotions like anger, fear, bitterness, and resentment—none of which fostered well-being. If I wanted to heal, I had to make changes to my internal spiritual environment, guiding myself toward emotions that would lead to true well-being.

If everything was possible with God, then the question wasn’t whether I could heal, but how. Yet, doubts crept in—I wondered if I might be out of my mind and questioned whether any of what I experienced was real. Was it simply my brain’s way of creating hope as a survival mechanism? But then I thought, if everything horrible I had been through was real, why wouldn’t the extraordinary good also be real?

At that point, I had no idea how my life would unfold, and only a vague sense of how to get better. But I chose to trust that God knew the way. I would eventually learn that this is called faith. One of faith’s most priceless gifts is hope, and what I once believed was impossible suddenly seemed within reach. I realized I could not only reclaim my life, but create an extraordinary one. For that, I am eternally grateful.